Hopeless Romanticism in Today’s Society

When we were children, most of us were told by a parental figure or a teacher that we have the power to do whatever we want and be whoever we want to be. We are capable of anything we put our minds to. We are not worthless. We are not helpless. We are not hopeless. Passion and determination will ultimately prevail in the end. If we really try and put our best foot forward, then no matter what happens, we are destined to succeed. That’s what we were told over and over again when we were young. What they didn’t tell us is that they were lying. The world is much more complicated than that. Hopeless is a word used to describe someone where it doesn’t matter how much effort they put into a situation; things will still stay the same or even become worse. It’s a word that many of us can relate to, especially in romance. They say you can’t force people to change. You can’t force love. You can’t always get what you want, and you also can’t always get what you think you need. Some of us believe we need love, and that we’re incomplete without it. We think about it every second of every day. So in turn, we fall in love with everyone we meet, whether we want to or not. In the end, we’re only left with unwanted pity and an “I believe in you”. Society calls these people hopeless romantics. They’re never destined to find their perfect significant other because of their high expectations. But, maybe things are more complicated than how society makes it seem. What if being a hopeless romantic is actually a gift, rather than a curse?

I want to start off by disproving all the myths that some people are led to believe about hopeless romantics. We’re led to believe that hopeless romantics are people who will never find their soulmate and they’ll die alone. While they are not hopeless per-say, today’s dating culture makes things seem almost impossible for them. Hopeless romantics are simply in love with love. They believe in chivalry and passion. Nothing can stop them when they have their heart set on someone. The problem with this is that they know the consequences. Hopeless romantics know what they’re getting into but can’t seem to ever stop themselves. Most of the time, they’re only left heartbroken like a lost child in the middle of a cold, rainy night. So, why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it because we’re hopeful, yet hopeless? If we try over and over again, then we must be able to find someone who will stay, right? For some, maybe that holds true. Maybe they did find their perfect soulmate, their happy ending. But, how can we ever truly know for sure we’ve found the one? Sometimes, happy endings are stories that haven’t ended yet. We’re led to believe that over and over again, but it doesn’t break us. Yes, there are times we feel broken and that we’ll never find anyone like the one we loved. But, we always come back on our feet for the next one. It’s a cycle of feeling hopeless and hopeful. That is a perfect example of why you can’t answer the question of if being a hopeless romantic is a good or bad thing.


Sometimes, happy endings are stories that haven’t ended yet.

How can we even determine the negative and positive aspects of being a hopeless romantic? There are certain words that come to mind when you try to describe one. Two of which are daydreamers and idealists. When you day-dream, you create movies in your head — specifically movies that are cliche and have happy endings. You want these daydreams to come to life, right? Or else what’s the point of daydreaming in the first place? Hopeless romantics try everything they can to make these movies a reality. Is that a bad thing? Maybe it is, because movies are fictional and you can’t possibly live a life like it’s a fictional story. Or maybe it’s a good thing because you’re optimistic. You’d do anything to create happy moments with people and just simply be content with your life. Isn’t that all we, as humans, really want in the end? For some, true happiness is as simple as having a decent job with a roof over their head. Is it wrong to want more than that? Hopeless romantics can’t settle for their version of less. Their definition of true happiness is other people’s definition of impossible. Eventually, life catches up and reality hits you as hard as a truck. Hopeless romantics can’t find the difference between dreams and reality. But, if life is what you make it, then what’s stopping you from making it a dream? Many would agree it’s possible for you to make your life a nightmare, since some believe their life already is a nightmare, so it must be possible to make your life a dream. But, this is exactly it. Dreams aren’t real. And neither are nightmares. Your life is better than a dream and worse than a nightmare because your life is real. Hopeless romantics need to learn that everything happens for a reason, and to separate reality from reverie.


Your life is better than a dream and worse than a nightmare because your life is real.

Unfortunately, something that hopeless romantics also have to deal with is that they can be confused with stalkers. The actions they take when they are interested in someone might come off the wrong way. Hopeless romantics often get too clingy even to people they recently met. The main key here is that this depends on how the other person feels about the hopeless romantic. If the feelings are mutual between the two, then the hopeless romantic will be seen as just that. On the other hand, if the other isn’t very interested in the romantic, they might assume they’re creepy and should be avoided. This makes things much more difficult for hopeless romantics who want to get to know people they’re interested in. A lot of times they just don’t realize how much they’re clinging to someone who might not feel the same way. Things become awkward and it creates a whole situation of misunderstandings, and often the two take separate paths. So, how can you tell the difference between a hopeless romantic and some weirdo? All in all, it comes down to what this person does to acknowledge how you feel. If someone is truly interested or even in love with you, they’ll respect how you feel in situations such as when you ask for space or time alone.

I feel like there’s one last thing I haven’t addressed yet; it’s that why any of this matters. We’re all human but everyone has their own ways of showing love. Maybe some don’t show enough, and some show too much. But, how do we know what the “right” amount of love is? There’s no answer to that question, much like most of the questions addressed in this reflection. Some choose to go above and beyond to exhibit faithfulness. Others just want a simple unromantic relationship or even no relationship at all. There’s nothing wrong with any of those mindsets. In the end, we all just want our version of happiness. The path we choose to get there doesn’t matter since they all usually seem unending and unclear. How we choose to treat others is what will eventually determine whether or not we reach our goal.

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Mari

Hiya, I'm the founder of Hopeful Romantics and I love love! I'm a musical nerd with many dreams. I created this community because I wanted people to have a safe place for romantics to share their thoughts.
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